Lava Lamp


My friend Amy let out a soft sigh as she swallowed her last spoonful of chicken noodle soup. We were eating lunch on a patio, leisurely sharing updates on our lives. It was Amy’s turn at the mic, and she had just finished vocalizing a new development with a former boyfriend. 
She plopped her now empty spoon on the table and said,
“I hate him.” 
“No, you don’t.” I soothed. “You hate the situation.”
Amy closed her eyes for a moment and let her lips curl into a frown. “I hate this feeling.”
I hate it, too.  
That tremble you feel when what was in harmony is now in discord. 
When desires…
….and fears….
…and emotion…
….melt from a solid foundation and ooze down our throats to bob…….up
                                                                                         …..and down…..
like a lava lamp. 
Elements of yourself floating back and forth in different directions…

…and in separate paths…
…but never together. 
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B’day

I tend to get pensive around this time of year. 


My birthday.


The change in age makes me think…


praise…


wonder…


anticipate…


reflect…


In the 9,499 days since I’ve been living, I 

…survived a death sentence predicted at birth.

….created a clothing catalog made up of designs modeled by Betty and Veronica

….began a lifelong love affair with a not-so-secret vice.

….sprayed myself with mace.

….learned the essential arts of tongue rolling, gum popping, and eyebrow arching. 


….skipped class.

….held a guy’s hand.

….got the hang of stepping


…contributed to a 401K.

…made friends.

…helped friends.

…lost friends.

…buried friends.

…had my heart crushed.

…had my heart warmed.

…gave birth to dreams.

….suffocated fears. 

…made others proud.

…made myself proud.

…learned to love myself…

fancy myself

adore myself

cherish myself



I read over the past 9,499 life pages with no regret. 


Looking forward with faith and no fear.