Incomplete

Even though it was Sunday, it didn’t feel like it. 


The afternoon sky was painted a milky gray. Thousands of fat raindrops plopped onto flimsy umbrellas and streamed down Evan’s car windows as he drove down the wet street. 


“Maybe I’m going through a quarter life crisis,” he said. “There are so many things that I thought would be different.”


I nodded in total agreement. I began to air out my own qualms about my life. But the inability to articulate my frustration made me speechless for a second or two as I searched for the right words.


But Evan filled them in, saying, 

“You just know you’re not where you thought you’d be.” 

I’m absolutely not where I thought I’d be. 


I step outside myself and gaze at my comings and goings at this moment in time with my lips parted, my brow wrinkled and my eyes widened, all in disbelief. 


This portrait of my life appears incomplete. 


There are dark spots of ink there that I wish I hadn’t spilled.


White spaces that need to be filled.


Scenery that I wasn’t expecting. 


A missing face that needs to be penciled and colored in. 


I’m absolutely not where I thought I’d be. 

But I’m exactly where God wants me to be.


I don’t hold the paintbrush. He does. And He knows exactly what to do with it. 


He will add just the right color. 


Sketch in the flawless visage. 


Blend the ink blots expertly into the rest of the image.  


All at the right time. 


There are times when I look at the picture as it is now and frown. 


Yell. 


Scream. 


Cry. 


But then I think if the painting was up to me, would it be as beautiful as it will be when Jesus is finished with it? 


Absolutely not. 


I won’t be incomplete forever. 
__________________________________
Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
-I Corinthians 13:12

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2 Comments

  1. >I understand that God is in control of our lives and where we are now is a part of his divine will. However, God wants us to be proactive in our lives. Many times our complacency and less than enthusiastic will prevents God from moving us to another level. When I was young, the old people in the church would say, "If you take the first step God will do the rest," so understandably my frustration is with me. I, Evan, have been paralyzed by fear… I have failed to take that first step and therefore I've become stagnant and uncomfortable with my current position in life.

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