The Final Blow

 I couldn’t move and I didn’t want to.

I was still.

Not still like peace.

But still like a dead engine.

Like a broken wheel.

Like a chalk outline.

I couldn’t move and I didn’t want to.

I lay there, feeling the pain from bullets 1 through 5 radiate through my body.

And then came the last bullet, snipping my spiritual spinal cord.

I couldn’t move and I didn’t want to.

Why should you get up?

You lose.

You’re a loser.

You lose.

You’re a loser.

You lose.

You’re a loser.

A furious refrain that was stuck on repeat.

A poisonous chorus that bloated me with shame.

And left me so lonely that I could taste it.

I couldn’t move and I didn’t want to.

My vantage point showed a lifeless scene all around me.

Because I had lost.

I’m a loser.

This was it.

But whenever I decided to cease looking and let the dirge sink into me, a different melody would begin to play.

This isn’t the end.

There’s more to this.

You are not forgotten.

I am with you.

My thoughts are higher.

Keep on trusting Me.

They were stirring.

I felt my eyes flutter. My legs twitched. My knees bent.

And I began to move again.

Current conditions made the forecast plausible.

Persuasive.

Convincing.  

But all is subject to change when God is involved.

I am not a loser.

I haven’t lost.

I will not lose.

For I know the plans He has for me.

And they don’t include failure.

Bullet #6 was meant to be the final blow.

Weapon #6 is resilience.

______________________________________________

“We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken.”

II Corinthians 4:8-9 (The Message)

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1 Comment

  1. Pingback: In Remembrance | the beautiful project

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